The Case of the Winking Girl

February 21, 2010

Solving the World’s Problems one by one: Big or small we do them all.


In terms of the world’s problems just how much importance should we attach to the act of winking by a girl? Does the act of winking merit our attention as something as serious as war or the threat of nuclear annihilation, for example? Is it on the same level? Could it ever be? Just where does an act like winking fit into the scale of things that can cause us harm or even allow us to discuss an activity such as winking?

Well, rest assured friends that all problems and all human acts are potentially serious ones. I want to start out my World Problem Solving Series by explaining to my readers that all actions found in our society have, potentially, world-wide importance and can be life threatening – to all of us. As simple as a case about a winking girl sounds, please be advised that the potential consequences of such a seemingly harmless act might not be so simple and we cannot just discard winking as events with no unintended future results. All actions are important and for different reasons – and every action leads to some result. That is the guarantee of life.

The first thing you have to think about when you are dealing with cases about winking girls ( or guys ) is the fact that this is a two way activity. There is a relationship going on no matter how thin or harmless it appears on the surface. The girl is winking for a reason. It may be a simple flirtatious act or it could be something more serious. The girl might be interested in the person she is winking at. Now, yesterday a girl winked at me. On the relationship level, I would call her an acquaintance – and certainly no more than that. How did I react to this friendly gesture would be our next consideration of course. Was I flattered or did I take the wink seriously? Did I think that this girl meant business and that she wanted to become more involved with me? Or, was she simply being friendly and did she just want to show me a part of her personality that involved winking and her ability to flirt? Did all of these considerations enter my mind at the time? These are the kinds of things that we must take into account in order to assess the severity of a wink as a potential world problem.

Now, rest assured dear reader that I personally did not think this wink would be a world-threatening event. I did not go home and plan my next attack for this girl. I was not entertaining the idea that the girl liked me and possibly wanted more involvement with me. My life experiences have informed me that that was not the most likely reason for the girl winking at me. She was just being friendly and that was her way of expressing herself to me. I made the assessment that this is just something that the girl does as a matter of course. I did not internalize this act as something that would be life changing for me. I was not about to conquer the world to win this girl. This girl was not going to be my girlfriend or my wife. I am pretty certain that is not going to happen. This acquaintance would remain as an acquaintance and no more. I was pretty sure that is the case here.

But, what about if this girl winked at someone else? A perfect stranger for example. What if, this girl having winked at a couple of other people during the course of her activities, say like two or more guys in a short period of time, decided to do it again and again. She was just getting used to the idea of winking at males who entered her life and she came to do that as a matter of habit or routine. And, what if she just so happened to wink at some perfect stranger who had never encountered her before. He may even thought of her as being pretty. And, what if this perfect stranger who was not from these parts took winking to be something particularly attractive coming from a female and thought that the girl was really interested in him. Perhaps he came from a part of the world that believed if a girl winked at you then that meant that she wanted to have sex with you. What if that is what the guy thought and that is what he expected. Then what?

And then, what if he decided to ask the girl in question what time she got off work and she replied enthusiastically: ” around ten o’clock or thereabouts. ” Having responded to his query then, the male deduced that this girl really did mean business and that he was going to get lucky with her. So, after this brief encounter he decided to go home and freshen up and get ready for his date later on that evening. He was expecting to take the girl out and have sex with her. That was the only thing roaming about in his mind at that time.

So, later on that evening the male in this story goes back to where the girl works and waits for ten o’clock so that he can begin his date with her. He waits outside her place of employment; it is a store. He is watching all of her activities. Ten o’clock arrives and the girl puts her coat on and leaves the building. A car driven by a male approaches the front entrance of the store. The girl enters the car and they drive off together. The male who is expecting to date the girl is upset and thinks that the girl has double crossed him and that she has tricked him into thinking she wanted to have sex with him. He is mad and wants to get even. He jumps into his car and follows the girl and her male companion. He follows the car to a secluded area of a park not too far from her place of work. He sees the girl and her companion embracing and kissing each other. Upon observing the girl and her boyfriend he reaches for a pistol that he keeps in his glove compartment. With his weapon in hand he gets out of the car and heads towards the girl and her male companion. He reaches the car, stands by the passenger window and points his weapon at the girl. The girl begins to scream and begs him not to shoot. The male gunman then fires repeated shots into her forehead and kills her. He then proceeds to kill the boyfriend as well, emptying his remaining pistol bullets into his brain. He leaves the scene.

The next day a double homicide is reported in the news. Nobody knows who did it and there are no witnesses. Our love struck male in the story knows who did this act and is not talking of course. He only sought revenge and justice for the actions of the winking girl. She was supposed to have sex with him that night, but she double crossed him. And, where he came from that is how you deal with a female who winks at you and then does not produce. That is fair justice and that is what our male in the story thought. And, if he was ever arrested for this killing that would be his defense and he would be telling the truth. For, where he comes from that is how his culture taught him to deal with winking girls who do not come through with the goods.

So, what is the problem here friends? Do you see how a simple act like winking or harmless flirtation can lead to disastrous results, or unintended consequences? This killing act would be a world changing event because it would be reported world wide. Others would come to hear about this act and might even contemplate some sort of revenge themselves if faced with the same problem that our love struck male was dealing with. However, no one really wants these kinds of killings to occur; they just seem so unnecessary and unpredictable. We don’t normally expect these kinds of things to happen, but they do. We are hearing more about acts of violence committed by people who have some kind of chip on their shoulder. Society has caused them some kind of harm and they are fighting back, or so it would seem. There are numerous victims now to crimes that nobody ever expected would happen; they seem senseless and unexplainable. As a society can we manage these kind of situations and control them so that they will not occur in the future? Is that possible? In the example given do you think it would be appropriate, for example, to have a sign displayed at places of work that says something like the following:

” Females are not to wink at strangers. The management will not be responsible for your actions if you do. “

Now, if you were a young female working in a public place serving people of all kinds what would you think of such an edict as that one? Would you follow the rules? Would the sign even mean anything to you? I think I would be quite afraid, being a female, that is, and then winking at someone. The whole business just sounds too scary. Working in a public place with a sign like that would make me fearful and wonder just what kind of place and society I am involved in. But, rest assured friends that we do live in an unsafe society. We simply do not know how people are going to react to any kind of activity at all. I am providing this rather dramatic case study to relay to you the very real life consequences of unintended responses. To answer the question then of what is the problem is quite basic. The problem is that we do not know what the unintended consequences of our actions will be. We don’t know what is going on inside of other peoples’ minds. That is the bottom line. We might not know the background, the culture, what a person’s attitudes are, what their expectations are, or anything. We are in the dark as it relates to perfect strangers, but especially perfect strangers. And, that is why they are called strangers.

People can be very dangerous when they are hurt or upset or if they expect a result that is not forthcoming. Maybe they have been hurt in the past and the incident is only acting as a catalyst for their inner feelings and depravations. In the example provided the male wanted to have sex with a female. That is what he thought and expected would happen. The female, according to the male in story, double crossed him and he simply meted out the appropriate justice. Maybe another female in his life ‘ double crossed ‘ him and she was just became the unfortunate victim that was to pay the price for someone elses ‘ crime. ‘ So that is the basic problem. In this story and in life. We don’t know what the results of our varied actions will be and that is because we do not have access the totality of information; information that could save lives.

Are there solutions to this problem? Of course there are. The most basic solution to all life problems, big and small, is common sense. Now, I realize that not all people are endowed with the same degree of common sense – and education and experience as others are. And, whatever acts we perform we most likely will not be able to determine the results of those actions by all of the different people involved. And, that is why we have courts and that is why we have police and social workers and psychologists and psychiatrists. These are the institutions and people that have to deal with all of the unintended consequences of our actions.

Wouldn’t you like to put courts, police and all of these other professionals out of business? Well, I know I would if it could save me some tax dollars that is for sure. Friends, the road to saving money and possibly your life is the same road followed by common sense. You need to protect yourself. This is the solution that I am recommending to you now. You can protect yourself by at least thinking about some unintended consequences or at least think about possible real life consequences. If you are a young female you must pointedly ask yourself the following question ( using our example ): What would be the results of my actions if I wink at him? Is it worth it? Is it safe to do? I wonder what he will think if I do it? And, after you think about these basic questions think about what would happen if you decide to wink? Think before you act is the solution to World Problem Number One.

If you have any suggestions for a world problem feel free to leave a comment and describe that problem. I will be glad to solve that problem for you based on my education and experience.


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